it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
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