so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
do herpes really smell.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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