My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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