she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
