I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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