Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
We need a shit load of segways right now
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
