She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Randomize
