i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
