You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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