Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize