So drunk, too bad you don't want this
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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