Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Randomize
