Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
