Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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