I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
