Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
