every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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