I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
