when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
