he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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