It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i just made my gag reflex go away.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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