she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
