and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
