They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
