I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize