Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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