...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
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Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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