Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
