well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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