Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
