i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
