Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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