Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
