what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
