Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize