oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize
