she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
