I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize