Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
