I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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