"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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