just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
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Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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