I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
