I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
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