dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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