my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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