OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
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We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
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Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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