How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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