Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
