yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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