drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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