After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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