I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize