The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Randomize
