Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I believe in your delicious
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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