Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
