i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
