I faked an abortion last night.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
