I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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