I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
