ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
