I don't think brook has ever known best
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
