I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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